Agency: United Registry for the Bureau of Unnatural New Zealand
Classification: LEVEL 1
Incident ID: URB-346 [Operation Glitter Bomb]
Incident Date: [19/01/2021]
Date Logged: [19/09/2025]
Location(s): WILLIS ST, DOWNTOWN WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND
Subjects Involved:
- Subject A: DARCY DANIELS (ASTRO)
- Subject B: LUCINDA BARNES (MERCURY)
- Witness 1: JAMES STRAFE – postman
- Field Agent(s) / Analyst: A. FRASIER, S. SINCLAIR,
- Logged by: L. ROSHBY
Report Type:
- Observation
- Debrief Summary
- Witness Account
- Narrative Analysis
- Surveillance Capture
- Unverified Lore Fragment
- Other
Report Body:
[THE FOLLOWING ENCOUNTER IS A RETELLING OF THE LEAD UP TO EVENTS GIVEN TO US BY SUBJECT A AND WITNESS 1]
A familiar rap on the door startles Darcy out of her daydream. Leaving the jug to continue boiling, she makes her way over to the front door of her apartment, dancing along to the tune of the country music blazing in the background. She reaches the door, pausing a moment to quickly primp. She knows who was on the other side, he had gotten himself into a routine and now somehow manages to arrive at exactly the same time, every other Tuesday at 4 in the afternoon.
With a slight grin, she realises that she actually looks forward to this time every fortnight. It was nice to talk to someone who just saw her as Darcy, instead of the crime-fighting hero mostly everyone else saw her as. She pulls the door open, and comes face to face with James. He grins, and she can’t help but return it. Beside him is a huge courier bag, bulky with letters and parcels for her.
“Delivery!” he sings. Darcy laughs and pulls the door open wider. He brushes past her, now familiar with the layout of her home. She shuts the door and trails after him, not so subtly checking his ass out as he plonks the bag down in the corner of the living room.
“Oh, by the way, there was also this. The guys at the depot screened everything, said it was okay, but it’s… kinda weird.” He leans over the courier bag, pulls a smaller cooler bag out and places it with a thud on her coffee table. Darcy’s interest is fully piqued. She reaches over, unzips the bag and pulls it open.
She freezes.
James shoots her a worried glance as she stands there, staring in rage at the inside of the bag. Hands shaking, she tears the note off the top of the slowly defrosting turkey. She reads it over once, twice, three times, her simmering anger growing by the second. She doesn’t need to look at the ridiculously flowery signature at the bottom. She recognises the handwriting as if it were her own.
Lucinda.
“Darcy… you okay?” James asks, and nervously reaches a hand up to shake her gently on the shoulder. The contact breaks Darcy out of her trance, and she shoots James a tight smile.
“Yea, yep, yep, I’m fine.” The crumpled note in her hand says otherwise. Darcy turns, throws the note into the bin with supernatural accuracy. James winces as the force of the throw nearly knocks the bin right over. Not for the first time he is slightly unnerved at the potent display of her powers.
“Okay, well, uh… I guess I’ll see you next week.” He makes a quick retreat, giving her one last look over his shoulder before closing the door behind him.
———————————————————-
[THE FOLLOWING INCIDENT WAS RECOUNTED FROM STREET SURVEILLANCE, SECURITY FOOTAGE AND MULTIPLE CIVILIAN VIDEOS.]
“Really? You daft cow, you missed!” Mercury is radiant in her gloating, a fiery beauty balancing steadily on her hoverboard just above the tops of the Willis Street buildings.
“Did I though?” Astro smirks as she raises an eyebrow.
Mercury is halfway through a violent eyeroll when there is a slight whining sound from above. She turns her head just in time to see the silver orb Astro had thrown return and crack open. It showers the blonde in about five craft stores worth of multi coloured glitter.
Astro bursts into laughter. Mercury is frozen, caught somewhere between outrage, horror, and surprise. Astro whips out her phone, gleefully snapping a few pictures before Mercury’s vicious glare turns on her.
“You fucking bitch,” Mercury screeches, “you know how I feel about glitter!”
She lunges, metal-gloved fist moving like the quicksilver she’s named after. Astro parries the move, returns one in kind, clips her on the shoulder. Mercury whirls out of range, a trail of sparkles and an angry cry of pain floating behind her.
“That was for the turkey! You swore you’d never mention it again!”
Astro pauses in her yelling, notices movement out the corner of her eye. There is a man at street level, dressed all in black (see file ‘Codename: NOIR’). It’s hard to make out his details, not just because of the mask he is wearing. Some sort of aura is keeping the space around him fuzzy, making it hard to get a read on any exact details. In previous encounters he has not intervened unless she has asked, she has made sure he knows exactly how she felt on that particular matter (see file #332). But still, his presence was a welcome one, judging by the way Astro relaxes, albeit fractionally.
Mercury catches the movement too, and stares down at a black-clad figure. Confusion flickers across her face, tinged with something else. Jealousy, maybe? Her eyes narrow as her glare hardens on Astro once again, hands clenched, clearly wanting to pounce.
“You know what? You deserved that. And more!” There’s something behind the anger at Astro’s little glitter stunt. Resentment, betrayal maybe? “You never were the little goody-two-shoes everyone made you out to be.”
Mercury scowls, looking first down at the figure below before returning to Astro. Her eyes tighten, frustration and fury clear as day. Understanding that any further action is futile, she turns on her heel and flees. Astro watches as she disappears, weaving through the buildings. She slumps, as much as one can in mid-flight. There’s something sad about her face. Longing? Hurt? Maybe Mercury’s final words got to her.
She stays there a long moment before noise from below brings her back. She shakes her head, clearing whatever was bogging her down. Her body straightens, head is high, once again Astro, the unflappable superhero. She flies down to meet her mystery friend, plastering on a weary grin as they move to help with the clean up.
END REPORT.
Observations / Notes:
- Footage pulled from multiple sources, encounter detailed from these.
- Multiple glitter-adjacent complaints lodged. 12 businesses also report glitter-related issues. Will have agency follow up.
- As a result, have requested that the heads down in HR update contaminant cleanup protocols (see file #122 “Sequin Disaster” for reference).
- Clearly revenge for the initial incident, extremely petty.
- Have filed under FOOD-BASED HOSTILITIES tag (see index). Only loosely applicable but will be helpful for future cross-reference.
- Memes have gone viral – globally. Have eyes on the situation.
- Preparing for Subject B’s retaliation. She has been quiet for too long. It is worrying.
Tags:
#Astro #Mercury #Food-Based Hostilities #Noir #Wellington #PettyRevenge #GlitterProtocol #Memes
United Registry for the Bureau of Unnatural New Zealand 
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